Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Beauty and the Geek

It was such a beautiful day yesterday! I am so enjoying the warmer weather. And since it is warmer now, I am expected to play outside with Ken..... EVERYday. Yesterday was no exception.
She's been bugging me for days to go on a bike ride, and I finally cave. We geared up and headed out. Actually, it was kinda nice. It was nice to be away from the TV and phone, and yes, even the computer. We are cruising along, having a blast, and chatting up a storm. Then the conversation takes an unexpected turn.
We see a motorcycle drive by.
"Mom, I've never been on a motorcycle"

"And you never will be. They are too dangerous"

"I will when I have a boyfriend"

"No, because you can't have a boyfriend"

"But mom, I want to have a boyfriend, get married, and have a kid"
She stops for just a second then continues on.
"You know what mom? You're right. (I am?) I don't want a cool boy. I want to marry a geek. They are smart and can help me with my homework. Besides, cool boys don't make any money when they get older. See mom, geeks are smart and make lots of money. And those cool kids that made fun of them will end of having to work for them. Then, they can't make fun of them anymore. My geek will be their boss! And you can't make fun of your boss! They'll fire you!"

Words of wisdom from an eight year old.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

The Hike that Wouldn't End and An Arrest Warrant?

We went hiking a couple of weeks ago. The weather was beautiful, the sun was shinning. Why not? We need to be active as a family. (I have to keep reminding myself).

After many minutes of research on the web, we pick out a trail. It's only 3 miles and it's right next to the lake. This is gonna be great!

We drive for forty minutes and alas, arrive at our destination. As we approach the ranger booth, we realize, there is no one there. The booth is closed for the season. I read the sign in the window and it CLEARLY states that CAMPERS should put their payment in the "box" before entering the park. Well, we are not campers. Maybe they don't charge for day use during the off season?? And of course my husband is chirping in the background "JUST GO!!"

Fine. Drive on.

We park, get out and assess the area. Oh, look, a map of the trail. I go to investigate and research the trail. Once again, the chirping. "Let's go!!! Hurry up!!"
"Babe, looks like we go this way"

"Yes, BUT, I really want to go that way"

Ok, now every fiber in my body says, "Krista, are you crazy? Don't do girl, don't do it!! He gets lost in the mall!!

"mkay, hun, whatever"

FOUR HOURS LATER we are still not done with the trail. And do you know why?????
1. Had he let me study the map, I could have told him that it was a 7 mile trail, not 3.
2. We went the wrong way.

Hmmm.. Of couse, I say nothing. riiiiiiiight.

We finally get back to the car and much to my delight, I have a ticket from the invisible park ranger. Perfect. It states that I have violated the terms of the US Army Corp of Engineers and blah, blah, blah park rules. Whatever. I have 7 days to pay for a year pass or else. (Ok, now I have to make one thing very clear, day use for the parks $4. Now they are forcing me to buy a pass for $30?) Again, I say perfect.
I shove the ticket in my glove compartment and home we go.
I left for Orlando at the beginning of the week and completely forgot about my $4 violation. Upon my return, I open my glove, and there it is. Oh Snap! It's Saturday, day 7, and there is nothing I can do. Their offices are close until Monday. Monday, that's day 10. OH NO!!!
Monday comes. I rush to the offices on lunch. I of course explain about the missing ranger, booth being closed, etc, etc. I get nothing. Not a reaction, no compassion, nothing. Here are her exact words to me.

"Ma'am, you are going to have to wait just a minute. I going to have to see if they have already issued the citation"

"They? They who?"

"Sheriff's office."

I'm sorry, what? Did she just indicate that because I did not pay a $4 day use fee at a hiking trail, that I will get a citation and possibly arrested?

I mean, How would you even explain that to your kid? What do you tell them on visiting day in the slammer when they ask what you did to get there?? "Sorry baby, mommy didn't pay to hike on the trail that wouldn't end."

I have no response to this woman. I pay the fine, pick my jaw up off the floor. And head home.
The good news is, I can use the park as I please for the next 365 days WITHOUT having to worry about getting arrested and my record is still clean as a whistle. I can now sleep peacefully at night.

Some Heavy Lifting

Jeff, Kennedy and myself are merrily driving down the road. Normal conversations are taking place at a normal tone. All in all, I think this is going to be a pretty painless, quiet, whine free drive. Then, it happens.

"WHOA MOM!!!! WHAT IS THAT?!?!?!?!?!?!"

I of course panic thinking that we are about to be taken out by a freight train or a large semi.
"WHAT????? WHERE!!!!!!"

"Right there mom. Look up there. What is that thing?"

Much to my relief, it is not a freight train, nor is it a very large semi truck. No, no, it's a crane. Two of them to be exact. As my blood pressure returns to a nonlethal level, I look in the rear view mirror and Kennedy is enthralled.

"What do those thing do Mom?"

"Well", I reply, "they lift really heavy things up and down and all around."

"Could they lift a car?"

"Uh, huh".

"Could they lift this car?"


"Could they lift you?"


I hear roaring laughter to my right. Yes, that would be my sweet, loving, ever compassionate husband about to pass out due to lack of oxygen because he is laughing so hard.

Thanks for the support dear. I love you too.