Thursday, November 8, 2007

What would you like for Christmas??

I picked up Kennedy from Adventure Club last night and boy, was she chatty. We talked about the normal stuff like, how was your day, did you like lunch, what was the best thing about recess, and then, we pass a house already decked out for Christmas. We both instantly burst into a verse of "It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas" as loud as we can. Then it hit me, I have NO IDEA what Kennedy wants for the big day. So, I ask.
"Ken, what do you want for Christmas? We need to start making a list for Santa."

Honestly, this kid kills me sometimes.

"Well", she replies, "I don't want ANY toys" (I am obviously puzzled by this statement) "I want a Kennedy Clone. But a REALLY smart one. I want her to be able to do my homework, clean my room, and sit with me at school and tell me the answers. Oh but, she has to be able to fit in my backpack."

Having the smart mouth that I do, I say "So you want a mini-me?"

"YES!!!!!! That's all I want for Christmas! A mini-me!"

So, if anyone knows where the closest clone store is, please let me know. I don't think Santa is going to deliver on this one.

Friday, October 19, 2007

You can go now...

So, I took Kennedy to a Halloween party tonight. I'm a little apprehensive. I don't really know how to let go and let her be a kid with other kids. I can't help it. She's my only kiddo.
See, I my eyes, it should just be Jeff, me and Ken. Like there's no reason to have anyone else around. Why would we need that? We are a perfect little unit. Kennedy however, has a different outlook on this.

Like I said, I took her to a party tonight. One of her little friends hosted a Halloween party. There is going to be cake, ice cream, candy, a cool movie, AND a costume contest. She has talked about this all week. She was pumped.

I rush home from work, we get her all dressed up and off we go. I thought (just for a second) she may spontaneously com bust on the way there. We get there I am pretty impressed. The house is completely decked out. We go inside and they even have a sign in sheet. ( I LOVE it, what responsible people!) So we get her "checked in" and she's off! Having a great time with her friends. I can't help but linger. Kinda checking things out, you know, like is the house "kid friendly" (because at 7 years old she may stick her fingers in an uncovered outlet or put something in her mouth) and it looks pretty good. I then go outside where all the kids are having a great time. I really feel good about this.

About 20 minutes go by and I realize, I am the ONLY parent there. Hmmm.
I walk up to Kennedy and try to talk to her. She COMPLETELY BLEW ME OFF!

A couple of minutes after that, this is what she says:

"Mom, um, you can go now"

OUCH. I think to myself, "What???? Why would you want me to leave? I am totally cool. I can totally hang with these kids. I'm cool, I'm hip, I'm with it".

Yeah, apparently not. I am no longer cool enough to hang with 7 year olds. When did that happen? I mean really? I can't "hang" with 2nd graders. I am slightly devastated.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Leap Frog

Kennedy stayed home all last week from school. She was so sick bless her heart. By Friday her fever had broke and she was on the mend! My mother graciously offered (after me having a psychotic episode) to keep her Friday afternoon so I could head in to work. (Thank you Mommy!!)



They had to run around for a little while and returned home with some festive fall decorations for my front yard. As they are setting up, Kennedy looks over and spots two grasshoppers.



"Look Nana! One grasshopper is on top of the other. I bet they are playing leap frog!"



"They sure are, time to go!" Mom replies.



What's the matter mom? Don't you want to explain why they are playing "Leap Frog"?

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Excellent Parenting Skills.....

We rented movies the other night. Kennedy I are scouring the aisles looking for just the right ones. We come across one in particular: "Pans Labyrinth". I think to myself "AWESOME! I loved the old Labyrinth movie! Jim Henson rocks!" It has to be like the new version of a classic. Right??

We finish picking out a few others flicks and head on home. I tell Kennedy she can go up and watch the "New Labyrinth" in her room. "K mom!" and she scurries up the stairs.

About 20 minutes later she comes rushing down the stairs obviously flustered and almost in tears,

"MOM! I can't understand the movie! It's all in Spanish or something and the words on the screen are going too fast! I can't read them!"

I think to myself, what button did you touch. I respond, "Ken, I'll be up there in a sec, just chill"

She goes back upstairs. I hate to admit, I kinda forgot to go up there right away. So 15 minutes after that I head up the stairs.

"Ken, hand me the remote, let's see if we can get it fixed".

I think I pushed every button on that darn remote and finally figured out, the movie actually is in Spanish. As I come to this realization, the scene on the movie changes, Kennedy shouts:

"Ooo, I hate that guy, mom you missed it a minute ago. See that knife in his hand? He just stabbed this guy right thru the heart! It was sooo gross!"

SAY WHAT......??????!!!!!!!

I grab the movie cartridge and begin to thoroughly examine it. RATED R.

crap.

I turned the t.v. off pronto and the explain to my 7 year old that her mother is completely incompetent.

Of course, she took it completely different. Here is her response

"I was totally watching a rated R movie! My friends are NEVER gonna believe this!"

Ah, yes, please tell all of your friends that here at the Shy house, we encourage small children to watch movies with extreme violence and adult content.

Awesome.

Thursday, October 4, 2007

It's a little thing called Karma....

If you read my last post, then you know I am raising a truly talented con artist. I'm so proud....



Kennedy got nailed the other day for going home "sick" from school. Yesterday, she received a POWERFUL lesson on Karma. Poor thing.



Flash back to Wednesday evening.....



I was working late (as usual) and we were supposed to go to my parents for dinner. I called Jeff and asked him to please pick up Kennedy and I would meet him there. I left work shortly there after and headed over to mom's. I got there before they did. I sat and talked to mom and dad for a few minutes, then looked outside and saw them walking across the lawn. I see Jeff leading the way and Kennedy dragging behind him. I could see with my all powerful mom eye that something was amiss. I opened the door and they came in. I greeted my husband and then looked at Ken. She would barely look me in the eye. Hmm, what happened.

We all get our plates and get ready to eat.

"Kennedy, do you want me to make you a plate?"
"No, I'm not hungry" she says.

Now, for those of you that know my kiddo, she DOES NOT miss a meal.

I look down at her and her eyes fill with tears.
"Mom, I need to tell you something, can we go talk in private?"
"Sure bug, let's go"

Then, in a mumbling sobbing rambling mess, she proceeds to tell me that she got a "bad note" at school. Dad "busted my butt 3 times and grounded me".

I explained to her she knew the rules and that bad behavior at school was unacceptable.

"I know mom. I'm sorry, I'm going to write (Mrs. Capelena) a note and apologize". It really broke my heart.

Now flash forward to the end of the night. Kennedy has gone to bed and I'm getting her backpack ready for school. I begin looking thru her Tuesday folder and I find "the note".

I study it for a few minutes and sure enough, she got in trouble. I think to myself, "man, this is the same thing she got in trouble for last time, the same EXACT thing". Then I look just a little closer......

HOLY MOLY! The date on the note was 8/27!! It was the same EXACT note! Somehow, the old note had gotten back in her folder!!!!

Ooops.

I couldn't help but laugh... just a little bit. I pulled Jeff over and had him look at it. Poor kid got nailed for ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. I guess that what happens when we tell a little white lie, it ALWAYS catches back up with you!!!

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

You are so dead when I get home.....

So, today I have a big meeting with Sam's. I've been up since 5:30am (and for those of you who are unaware, I HATE no, LOATHE mornings.) ANYWAY, I get ready and off I go.

We get to the convention center, set up, and get the ball rolling on the meeting. After the meeting ended (like 4 hours later) I check my phone. 5 new voicemails! I didn't even know that 5 people knew my phone number. I start to call people back, the first of which is Jeff.

Me: "Hey babe, just got done, what's up?"

Jeff: "Oh nothing, just sittin here with our sick kiddo"

Me: "What?! What's wrong with her? Is she ok? Does she have a fever, diarrhea, vomiting, blood or broken bones????"

Jeff: "No, she has a belly ache"

Me: "Say whaaaat?"

Jeff: "She had a tummy ache so the school tried to call you. When they couldn't get you, they called your dad. He went and got her and then called me."

One thought comes to mind......*suckers*

Me: "I'll be there in a minute"

Jeff: "Will you bring us something to eat?"

Of course, because I have nothing else I'm doing and you guys are obviously incredibly busy.
So I stop to get them something to eat and head to the hacienda. I get there to find both Jeff and Kennedy upstairs watching cartoons. I unleash the evil parent within......

Me: "Kennedy, what is wrong? Why did you have the nurse call?"
Ken: "My tummy hurt."
Me: "Did you barf?"
Ken: "No."
Me: "Diarrhea?"
Ken: "No."
Me: "Do you have a fever?"
Ken: "I don't think so."
Me: Are you REALLY sick?
Ken: "No, no ma'am."
"You are dead meat when I get home tonight."

Wow, at 7 years old, she has already figured out a way to con the school, her grandfather, AND her Dad. Sadly, I'm somewhat impressed. I was 12 before I pulled off this scam successfully!

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Hey mom, I learned a new song today!

I'm so glad my child is getting a top notch education at school.....


Kennedy: "Hey mom, I learned a new song today at school. Do you want to hear it?"

Me: "Sure Ken, sing it for me."

Kennedy: "Ok, It goes a little something like this.....

Bang, Bang choo choo train, let me see ya work that thang. Uh Huh!"

(Inappropriate dance moves accompany the song)

My jaw hits the floor. HARD.

Me: "Um......yeah. Maybe we shouldn't sing that one anymore."

Kennedy: "Why?"

Me: "Inappropriate Kennedy, inappropriate."

Kennedy: " But mom...."

Me: "Inappropriate."

Kennedy: "awe, Mom."


I'm struggling to keep a straight face during this little episode. I manage to keep it together long enough for her to leave the room. Then, I lost it.

Monday, September 24, 2007

I need a pair of those....

I know. Not appropriate right? I'm sorry, I couldn't think of a better title.

Kennedy spent the day with my mom on Friday. She decided that her, my mom, and Madison (my niece) needed to have a picnic. She went inside, made "sandwiches" ( I couldn't tell you what they really were, that's just what she called them) pack some miscellaneous other things, got a blanket, and set up shop outside.

So, my mom, Kennedy, and my niece all go outside and begin to eat their lunch. Kennedy sits there for a few minutes and then looks over at my mother. My mom is sitting there in her normal everyday getup, a tanktop and shorts. Kennedy begins to speak.....

"Nana, (as she cups and pretends to lift her non existent boobs) I think I would look so much better if I just had a pair of boobs"

I think my mom had a mild stroke. Do you think I should be concerned?????

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Kennedy, please go clean your closet.

Kids are so cleaver.

I asked Kennedy to please go clean her closet today. I thought I explained it in great detail. I said "Kennedy, please go clean your closet. I want you to organize your dresser drawers and hang up all clothes you can. I don't want to see ANYTHING on top of your dresser".

Pretty clear right? I thought so too.

As I'm getting the house ready for bible study, I noticed she has made about 20 trips up and down the stairs. I'm not REALLY paying attention to what she is doing.

About 2 hours later, I realize Kennedy is just hanging out in the living room, just watching some t.v. So I ask her "Is your room ALL READY for people to come over? Did you make your bed, pick up your room and CLEAN YOUR CLOSET??"

"Yes ma'm!" she replies. I say in return, "If I go up there right now, everything is done right? Because if it's not....." She again replies "Yes ma'am! It's all done!"

Ok, I think, I'm going up there to investigate. I march up the stairs and much to my surprise, it's done! "Kennedy!" I shout, "you did such a great job! I'm so proud of you" (Big Hug)

Fast forward.....Everyone left after bible study and I go back to chores. Cleaning the kitchen and whatnot. I go to open the laundry room door and literally an AVALANCHE of clothes bombard me. WHAT THE HECK?????!!!!!!!

"KENNEDY!!!!!!!!!" I shout with much enthusiasm. "Why are all of your clothes in the laundry room???? Are they really dirty or were you just too lazy to put them away???"

"Mom, you said to hang up all the clothes that I could and make sure there weren't any on top of my dresser" (I am well aware of the instructions given).

I know Kennedy. So why are all the rest of them down here????

"Well, I picked up a shirt and it smelled bad, and that shirt was touching all the others so I thought it would make them smell bad too. So, I brought them all down. I didn't want to wear smelly clothes".

Ahh, what a cleaver girl. (I have no response.)

So it is now 10:30 and I am still washing her "smelly clothes". I will be sure to be more specific in the future.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

My Saturday thus far.

What a weekend it has been so far. My little niece Maddie spent the night with us last night. Which really wasn't all that bad. I managed to postpone bringing her and Kennedy home until about 10pm. (Sorry Mom!) We went upstairs, blew up the air mattress, made the bed, and they climbed in. I came back downstairs and did a whole lot of nothing and Jeff went off to bed. They girls did surprisingly well. They whispered and giggled until about 11:30 then fell FAST asleep. NICE I think to myself. Now I can go to bed. So I get up, take my new meds (I'm not crazy, I have a sinus infection). One of which is an inhaler. Now, I'm a little sceptical on this one. I've not "inhaled" (I heard you laugh) anything that was prescribed before. (That really sounds alot worse than I meant it to).



ANYWAY so I do what the pharmacist told/mimed me to to. I couldn't really understand him. I was in the oh so inconvenient drive thru.

1. Shake it, check,

2. put it in the other thing, check,

3. press once and inhale, check,

4. EXHALE EXHALE!!!! Right, check. and repeat.



Piece of cake right? Oh, what was that Mr Pharmacicst? Don't take it before bed? Why? OH right..... It simulated being on CRACK!!!!


I am not even kidding. Did you ever see there's something about Mary? Magda cleaning? That was me...last night until oh, say 3AM. That alarm was like music to my ears this morning (right...). So was the enthralling phone call from my corporate office.





Moving on to the rest of my day. I had BOTH girls ALL DAY. Love 'em, just not that much. ONLY KIDDING!!! We had a great time. A couple of "She's drinking all the coke!" and "She's on my side mom" but we made thru seemingly unscathed. Thank goodness I had my new inhaler. I would have NEVER mad it thru the day!

Friday, September 21, 2007

So Here I am

Well, I can honestly say I'm a terrible writer. I seem to just ramble on and on, usually about nothing at all. You'd think I have WAY too much time on my hands.
So, here we go. A little about me. I'm in my late twenties (not thirty yet!), I'm a wife, a mother, a christian, and the princess of all things pork.
I have been married to my very best friend for 9 years and have an awesome kiddo named Kennedy. We just bought our dream house a.k.a "The Money Pit". But I love it. We've also started hosting a weekly bible study at our house. (Which is totally awesome I might add!)
I've lived in the same town for 20 years and man has it changed! That is a total thanks to the retail monster Wal-Mart.
So I pretty much just do the SAME THING EVERYDAY. But that's ok. I think by nature we are creatures of habit. Consistency it good, right? I know one day something absolutely fabulous will land in my lap. Maybe I'll win a trip to Europe....Hmmmm.

Until that day comes, I just keep on pluggin' along. Doing my thang day to day. Trying to talk the talk AND walk the walk. But I'll keep you posted along the journey. Stayed tuned...It's bound to be entertaining!